Posted on by sherryrickard

Don’t Look Back!

Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” –Luke 9:62

This February 14th, it will be 7 years since I kissed my husband for the last time here on earth and watched him take the Savior’s hand and walk into glory.

I remember the first year of grieving, I was surrounded by loving friends and acquaintances.  They carried me through each and every day and were the hands and feet of Christ.  The second year was so much harder than the first year.  The third year was just more of the same.  And so it has gone, year after year.

As I have walked this journey, I have had the pleasure of meeting some incredible people.  Many of them have been called to walk the grief journey, having lost their spouses as I have.  They are brave and in different stages of grief.  Some are newly widowed; others have been widowed longer than I have and still others are remarried widows.  Each has been so incredibly open and vulnerable with me and have walked through my life and left me with beautiful lessons.

The lesson that has been weighing heavily on me is one of looking back.  I have started the new year with a plan to read the Bible through in this year.  One of my recent readings was of Lot and his wife as they fled Sodom and Gomorrah.  They were told not to look back and when Lot’s wife looked back, scripture says she was turned to salt.

Every time I read this story, I am struck by how harsh Lot’s wife’s punishment for her disobedience was.  They were running from their home, after being led out by the hand by God’s angels.  The angels said, don’t look back.  And so they fled and as they were running, she looked back and that was that.  She was gone.  Just like that.

Scripture doesn’t talk about the grief Lot felt at his loss.  And as scripture proceeds, she is never mentioned again.  Lot doesn’t seem to bring his wife up in conversations.  He doesn’t seem to question if God made the correct decision.  Their children aren’t described as experiencing debilitating grief.

Lot seems to accept God’s decision in the matter as just and proper.  He doesn’t stop believing in God or calling out to God for help.

All of this has caused me to realize that maybe I’ve spent the later years of my grief journey – these last few – looking back.  And, in looking back, maybe I’ve missed out on some blessings that I didn’t experience because I was looking back and walked right past them.

Scripture says there is a time for tears and a time for laughter.  A time to mourn.  I know that the sadness I felt at my husband’s death was proper.  I know that I was supposed to grieve and take a moment to remember.  I think that if you mourn too long, it ends up becoming a habit of sorts.

I’m saying all of this to say that I feel called now to put my hand to the plow and to stop looking back.  I need to launch forward in a surrendered fashion with open hands and an open heart.  I need to have faith that God has this and start stepping out on my next challenge in Him.

It is impossible to move forward if you are watching the rear-view mirror and looking back.  You don’t see what is coming when you look back.  You can’t even fix your gaze on your goal.  Your view in the mirror is distorted in some ways.  You may need to glance, at times, in the rear view mirror to see where you’ve been, but your gaze should be fixed on the road ahead.  Be present and let God bless your presence with His presence.

So, as we walk into this new year, let’s look forward and step out and walk towards God’s next goal for us.

 

 

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