And when the fowls came down upon the carcasses, Abram drove them away. Genesis 15:17 KJV [Please read Genesis 15:1-17]
This article came out of a great conversation with another writer on this team. We were talking about how easy it is to be sad. I hasten to add that it is necessary and expected that you should feel sadness during your grief journey, especially early on in the journey. However, as you walk this path, the unbearable sadness should wane and you should choose to live well. [Author’s Note: There are times when medication is needed to help people get through because of a clinical condition and, in those times, one should seek medical advice and adhere to that advice.]
My daughter has played field hockey for the last four years. This game is the perfect combination of feminism and strength. In my experience, these female athletes are girlie girls. Before the warm ups and games, everyone is getting their hair braided with pink ribbons. Even their uniforms are kilts. Then the game begins and to play correctly, you have to have strength and endurance and you have to fight for the ball.
During the game, sometimes the sticks of the opposing players hit each other which causes their knuckles to “clang” against the opponents sticks. This feels, from your hand to your elbow, like a tuning fork after it is hit…a numbing throb…it hurts. Field hockey game clocks don’t stop, so you have to play on. You will see these girls continue running and flinging their hand in the air to make the throbbing stop until they have full control of their fingers again. The player keeps going and just shakes it off and the game continues.
As I think about this particular injury, it is much like the grief walk. You are hurt and it throbs through your body. You can just let the throb go on and on and do nothing, or you can push through and shake yourself and tell yourself to go on. It’s hard and you get tired; but you have to push through that…have endurance. You have to make yourself stay in the game. You have to keep on, keepin’ on. You can’t wallow in this. You have to shake yourself and get back up and keep going. God has this; but you are called to do some of the work. Just like in the verses of Genesis 15:1-17. God wanted to bless Abrahm; but Abrahm had to drive away the birds. God could have done it Himself; but he called Abrahm to do his part.
So, what are you called to do. You are asked to get up each day; eat healthy; exercise; and keep on going. If you are doing well; everything else falls into place. If you have children; they will follow your lead. You have to do your part. That is different for each person. It feels good sometimes to be the saddest person in the room; but that is not healthy, nor does it Glorify Christ.
What if you haven’t been doing that? What if you have fallen into the habit of being sad, and it is not a clinical condition or early in your grief journey? Do better – starting now! Pledge to yourself and your Savior that tomorrow will be a better day…and DO IT! Get up and meditate on God’s word; make yourself smile; brush your teeth; make a doctor’s appointment; wear clothes that make you feel pretty; fix your hair (or get a haircut); get a manicure; listen to music that makes you smile; pick one area of your life and make it orderly. Every day, add another thing and before you know it; you will feel better.
You have to stay in the game and you are called to do your part. You want your life to honor Christ and to honor the life of your husband. Would he want you to lay in bed and cry all day? Would he want you to withdraw from life? The answer is NO! Smile and shine your husband’s testimony – honor the life he lived by living well. Honor the life Christ has given you by living well for Him.
This all sounds easy, but it’s not. You have to start with your head and your thoughts and then you have to take action. You can do this! Shake it off! Stay in the game!
Dear Lord, Thank You for placing people in my life to remind me to stay in the game. Thank You for loving me through this. I will do better and I will purpose to glorify You in my life. Amen.
Archive: Originally posted on awidowsmight.org in October 2014