Woman, What Does This Have To Do With Me?

 

When the wine ran out , the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.”  And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.”  His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”  John 2:3-5 ESV [Please read John 2:1-11]

A few Sundays ago, my Pastor shared from John 2:1-11.  As I listened, it dawned on me that my relationship with my Savior, Christ Jesus, during the years leading up to my husband’s death and walking out of the moment when he met Jesus face to face was much like the relationship described in these verses.

My life with my husband  was much like this wedding feast – a party.   We were happy;  in sync with each other;  he was my best friend.  When he became ill, and as we searched for a diagnosis, my husband was at peace and content.  At the end, despite the awful pain, my husband was content and happy.  Until the moment that he took the Savior’s hand and walked into eternity with Him, my husband’s eyes still had sparkle and love.

But when the wine ran out at the wedding, so to speak, I went to my Savior and said, “They have no wine.”  Jesus responded, “Woman, what does this have to do with me?  My hour has not yet come.”  I didn’t understand at the time that Jesus was saying this to me in a very gentle, loving voice.  He was saying it as He tried to gather me in His arms and comfort me.  And, I’m ashamed to say that I did not react immediately like His mother did in these verses.

I was still at the wedding table looking at the empty wine vessels – fixated on why Jesus wasn’t providing more of the wine I had been drinking.  Irritated, hurt that He had allowed the wine to go dry.

In time, I eventually responded as His mother did in these verses – “do whatever He tells you” – but it took time.  I had to get through the hurt, the pain, the loneliness, the disappointment.

If you read this whole passage, you will see that not only does Jesus provide wine, but in verse 10, it is revealed that the wine Jesus provides is better than the original.

My grief journey has been like that.  The wine – or life I shared with my husband – was wonderful!  I didn’t want it to end.  After my husband’s death, once I began to “do whatever He tells me”, the wine – or my life – became even sweeter.

How is that possible?  In Matthew 19:26 scripture says, “…with God all things are possible.”

Four years down the road, I know how to love sacrificially.  I have deeper friendships.  I am stronger.  I am resilient.  I feel more deeply.  Without this journey, this “loss of wine”; I would not have known how much sweeter “the replacement wine” is.

As I look back on my journey, I see that this sweetness didn’t enter the picture until I started doing “whatever He tells me to.”  I didn’t experience joy, contentment, and true laughter until I surrendered and just looked to the Savior and asked, “what would You have me do.”  That is when the better “wine” – or life – came.  Not immediately, but in joy-filled sips that I can savor.

To my dear sisters at the beginning of your grief journey, I encourage you to “do whatever He tells you”.  He will take your “water” – ordinary – and turn it into the best “wine” – extraordinary.  There will come a day when you can say as the master of the feast in this scripture said, “you have kept the good wine until now.”  And just as in this scripture (v.11), Jesus’ disciples believed in him from this sign, people will watch you in your journey and will believe in Jesus as they watch Him do work through you.

Dear Lord, I thank You for Your living Word.  I love that even scripture that I have read numerous times can be used to mold me more into your image.  I thank You, Lord, for allowing me the grace and time to see that what has come since that horrible day four years ago is the best and has such a sweet taste.  Thank You, Lord, for allowing me to laugh again and live fully in You.  Amen

Archive:  Originally posted on awidowsmight.org in March 2015