How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? Forever? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? How long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? Consider and hear me, O Lord my God; lighten mine eyes lest I sleep the sleep of death. Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed again him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved. But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.
Psalm 13 KJV
When my husband died, I spent the first three years healing and asking God for direction for my life. About three and a half years into my journey, I felt that God was opening my heart to search for another love. So I dipped my toe into the dating pool. I found very quickly that the pool is filled some sharks that are hungry, and you have to be very careful.
I have had a serious relationship that lasted about fifteen months, and because I lost my way in the thick of it, it lasted about six months longer than it should have. The end was dramatic. I was very defeated as I walked out of that relationship. Then, I went on a series of texts and dates that all ended with no love or even friend connection.
I keep asking God if He wants me to continue this part of the journey. I keep asking Him to close my heart and take away the desire of sharing my earthly life with another. The more I pray, the more my heart remains open. So I continue to pray and be open to meet people God brings into my life.
I don’t want this search to sound like it has overtaken my life. I continue to work full time; own a home and maintain it; parent a college-age child; attend and volunteer in a local church; write for A Widow’s Might; fellowship with friends and family; and support the care for my parents.
There is a certain vulnerability in sharing this part of my life in an article, especially one that will be circulated among Christian readers. Dating, especially for adult women, is really a quiet activity. But, as I sit here tonight at my computer, I feel called to share that I have not yet been successful in finding someone to share my life and my love of Christ with. In fact, I have met a lot of people who are fraudulent in who they really are.
I share this because I want you to know that this search for another life-mate is part of my widow journey.
I am whole in who I am right now. I am complete and God can use me in a mighty way, right now.
But, for the moment, God is tending to my heart in a way that makes it open for love and for a life companion.
This article is not going to end with a nice, tidy ribbon tied to it. I am still searching and I am walking out of another failed “friendship” after talking and sharing meals with someone for two months. I am seeing how God is, with the people who have crossed my path so far, sparing me from lifelong pain in that they will not be a permanent part of my future. My heart is intact and I can still love. I am not bitter– but open to what God’s plan is for my life.
So, I encourage you to discern God’s call for your life.
- If it is to have an open heart to share your life with someone, do so cautiously and safely. Glorify God in your search. Keep your standards high and don’t compromise.
- If you feel called to remain single, do so with joy, knowing you are complete and whole and God can use you in a mighty way.
I’ll keep you posted on my journey. God isn’t finished with me yet – there is still more to come!
Dear Lord, Thank You for being steady and constant and unfailing. I remain obedient to You as I walk this part of the journey and Your call to me to share this part of the journey with others in a public way. I know You will use this for good. I love You and I am so excited to watch You work in my life. Amen
Archive: Originally posted on awidowsmight.org in October 2016
I quite like reading an article that can make men and women think. Also, thanks for allowing me to comment. Minna Wald Hamid
There is definately a lot to find out about this issue. I really like all the points you made. Felita Aylmar Leandra
I think this is a real great blog post. Really thank you! Fantastic. Rory Rufus Ellwood
Your mode of telling all in this article is in fact good, all be capable of effortlessly understand it, Thanks a lot. Rica Garey Dicks
Marvelous, what a blog it is! This web site provides valuable data to us, keep it up. Elsy Tiebold Serafina
You have observed very interesting points! ps nice site. Em Wesley Ancelin
I think this is among the most vital info for me. And i am glad reading your article. Elfie Deck Kawasaki
Just wanna admit that this is very beneficial , Thanks for taking your time to write this. Karole Britt Eldwin
I am really thankful to the holder of this site who has shared this fantastic article at here. Teresa Gawen Akel
Thanks for fantastic info I was looking for this info for my mission. Perle Maxie Yatzeck
Utterly written written content , thanks for entropy. Tani Frants Hallvard
You have brought up a very superb details , thanks for the post. Yvonne Wesley Volnak
You made some good points there. I looked on the net to learn more about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this site. Corissa Doyle Delfine
Pretty! This has been an extremely wonderful post. Thanks for supplying this info. Malissia Sherman Nigel
Really informative blog. Much thanks again. Really Cool. Manon Chrissie Mini
There is obviously a bundle to identify about this. I believe you made certain good points in features also. Nell Noe Deming
As a Newbie, I am continuously searching online for articles that can aid me. Thank you Corrianne Jose Torrlow
You need to take part in a contest for one of the most useful websites online. I most certainly will highly recommend this blog! Berry Rees Hatti
A round of applause for your blog post. Thanks Again. Cool. Carol Herbert Honora
Hey there. I discovered your web site by way of Google even as searching for a similar matter, your website came up. It looks good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then. Nike Aron Belicia
At last! Something clear I can understand. Thanks! Queenie Lothario Georgeta
I could not refrain from commenting. Well written. Serene Jody Ellinger
Thank you
!
Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you penning this write-up and the rest of the site is also very good. Lois Marty Dragelin
I got what you intend,saved to bookmarks, very nice internet site. Karry Sloane Fey
gracias a todos por los comentarios. es curioso como para una empresa que se pone en manos de sus usuarios, hace falta que venga un Varsavsky a decir que se publiquen las cuentas para que le hagan caso, cuando ES LO QUE TODO EL MUNDO HA PEDIDO DESDE EL PRINCIPIO. Mareah Nester Geminius
Wow, amazing blog layout! How long have you ever been blogging for? you made running a blog glance easy. The entire look of your site is wonderful, as well as the content! Gilbertine Griffith Vescuso
If some one needs expert view regarding running a blog after that i suggest him/her to pay a visit this blog, Keep up the good work. Donelle Jodie Lantha
This is a unquestionably absorbing post. You are doing spout with writing. Bonny Dewie Hotze
You ought to take part in a contest for one of the greatest websites on the web. I most certainly will recommend this web site! Kristien Ikey Faber
This post is invaluable. When can I find out more? Charil Berty Rochella
Hey there. I found your site by means of Google whilst looking for a related matter, your web site got here up. It seems to be great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then. Mercy Washington Weld